poem 6

it's cold as hell
in indiana

but the thing is
hell's not cold
it's hot

not that i would know.
i just go by word of mouth

apparently people have been there before me

i may have been there too
at some point
i dimly recall staring at a board
with fright

thinking
what in god's name is being taught?
numbers, letters
an explosion of calculus

so much writing
you'd think that he was trying to prove
the existence of a god

yet how can there be one
if calculus exists

one man
one living, breathing
contradiction

and it's not because i'm an idiot
and it's not because i'm spacing out
and it's not because of my frightful tutor
and it's not because of the lyrics to american pie
scrawled in the back of my notebook
in order to keep conscious

oh i've been to the dark depths of despair
but i'll have no more

i withdraw
from hell

sweet, sweet salvation